i need something to distract me, apart from sleeping. Although sleeping relieves me of my tiredness, and brings me into a whole other world when my problems do not exist. But i can't sleep my whole life away, and when i am conscious all these problems come back. it is impossible to run away from it, but i just want to stop thinking about it, for at least a minute. please let me do so, because this is exhausting, and i can't take it any longer. In my head i keep thinking that it is a bad dream and i have yet to fully believe that this is true, although i try to make myself believe it is, it is not as easy as it seems. I know i shouldn't let this affect me because i've promised myself and her that it will not but how am i supposed to control my emotions. This makes it harder for me to trust anyone, moreover you.
is there such a thing as too much trust,
or is it only possible to take advantage of such trust
only to leave each other hurt, forever.

THURSDAY
watched i not stupid too.
IT IS SUPER FUNNY.
Had tennis, sandra, lex and i kept betting what time it will rain,
IN THE END IT DIDN'T EVEN RAIN.
maybe a few drops of water here and there.
ran 2.4
then my mum picked me up and i made her bring me to sushi tei to satisfy my craving for jap food.
had a pretty long talk with her, since a while.
I LOVE MY MUM.


TODAY
School was fine.
it was really funny.
REPORT BOOKS BACK TODAY.
i could have done better.
oh well.
andddddddd today while coming down the stairs, Rachel slipped and SCREAMED.
just as she screamed, MRS NEO APPEARED. super coincidental.
AND i was standing away from the staircase, and so i didn't know what was happening.
but i thought rachel screaemed after seeing m. neo's face.
I STARTED LAUGHING LIKE CRAZY.
but that wasn't what happened.
OH WELL!


i have yet to come to terms with it


i am afraid of the future and what it will bring. It might bring happiness, but just as much misery. I am afraid to see you walk out that door and not having you next to me everyday. That emptiness that can never be filled. But i will be happy for you, because you deserve it.
sorry for tying you down.

school was draggy again, but chinese was super funny.
we ended up drawing on the noticeboard at boring parts of the day.
AND DURING EMATH, when mrs song didn't come in,
rachel was tying my hair, it was surprisingly nice,
WHY CAN'T SHE DO HER OWN HAIR AS NICE.
kidding channnn (:
THEN SS WAS DRAWING AND DRAWING.


lunch with the APRIME CREW was fun.
and Athena was so embarrassing. hahahaha
collecting her monopoly stuffff.


you can sense the change when you step into your house, and hardly talk to anyone. no one to communicate with. the only thing you can turn to is your phone or msn as a form of communication. i think i need my siblings back home.

I CANNOT STOP LAUGHINGGGGGGGGGGGG!
WENN ER WAS DAMN FUNNY TODAY!
HAHAHAHA
she walked into the com lab and didn't realise that's not our class, AND LAO SHI JUST STARED AND LAUGHED AT HER.
cracked.me.up.
thennnnnn
rachel said to lao shi that she needs to be more happy
and lao shi said, SHE IS NOT HAPPY WHEN SHE SEES RACHEL'S FACE.
hahahhaha! I LOVE 老师!
老师: "我听你讲话头晕"
i love Rachel Chan!!!!!!


chinese com lab now.


I CANNOT STOP LAUGHINGGGGGG


TASS SAID I WAS COOL AGAIN.

Tass Chin was trying to write

睿
which is her chinese name, then

老师 ask her if she knows what it means,

then SHE SO SMUGLY SAY IT MEANS "SMART"

and 老师 said "那你为什么这么笨 " CLASSICCC!!!!!!!!!!
and and and i should stop blogging!

WORDS THAT START WITH "F" OR "V" THAT TASS IS MOST LIKELY TO SAY:
1. voice
2. Vanessa
3. FunFair
4. F_ _K
5. roses are red, Violets are blue, F_ _K you whore.
6.Farisha
7. i'm a Flower
8. Freak
9. Vibrate
10. Food.
SHE CAN'T PRONOUNCE "F" OR "V" CAUSE OF HER WONDERFUL ULCER.

I HOPE MY BRUDDER DROVE YOUR BUS. I ALWAYS SEE THEM SLEEPING. MY BRUDDERS ARE MAKING SINGAPORE A BETTER PLACE. -BROFIST- (cause you know, my sweaty palms...)

THIS IS RACHEL, NATASSIA AND WENN ER HERE.
AMELIA DOWNRTGVB`6GYHBY IS BLACK

I'M IN THE COM LAB NOW! TYPING CHINESE.
TASS, WENN ER AND RACHEL'S HERE.
tass says i am awesome (: LOVE HER!
anddddd rachel wanted to type "ZIU" classic.
this morning flag raising was funny (:
i am hungry and confused, i feel like talking to you :(

i am so bored.
i've been eating all day.
I THINK FOOD AND SLEEP IS THE CURE TO EVERYTHING
when you are sad you can eat/sleep
when you are hungry you can EAT
when you are tired you can SLEEP
when you are angry you can EAT/SLEEP
when you are confused you can EAT/SLEEP
right!?


that was the best i've felt in days, thank you.

TENNIS, 12 rounds, i am aching
church was good, cell was fun, i learnt how to play an A thanks to lincoln.
prayed for nat and kenneth, it breaks my heart to see them like this.
so please CHEER UP, trust in the lord :)
dinner with tass and kenneth was good.
I GUESS WE ALL NEEDED IT.
and it was different (:


i have no idea how to juggle 5 frigging tuitions, plus supplementary classes and trainings.
why can't my mum see that 3 tuitions a week is going to kill me.
chinese everyday in school, squidward everyday
someone save me.
my life is a constant mess.


i hope you are aware of what you are doing


a feeling that is indescribable.
time would heal a broken wound.

The thought of ending my life is scary. the thought of my friends' lives ending is even scarier. when your thoughts run wild and you imagine the worse, nothing but the loneliness of your soul wandering around nobody. but how am i supposed to wipe out this hatred inside of me, this agony deep inside my heart, the confusion surrouding me and the fear that i hate thinking about. Afraid of losing everything that has been with me my whole life, or have even been part of it. dreading that day when you will have to bid everything you lived for, goodbye. Treasuring your life is never that simple when you are filled with emotions that you are not supposed to have in the first place.

today WAS BETTER.
HAHAHA
"boom"
"too much ris low?"
I HAD TENNIS TODAY since FOREVER.
played a match with chelsea, IT WAS TIRING.
then ran 10 rounds, FELT LIKE DYING
i am so UNFIT >: (


MET kenneth and nat after that at pepper lunch.
LEARNT HOW TO FOLD PAPER PLANES.
it was interesting.
NAT WAS GOING CRAZY OVER PRINCESS THINGS
I WAS GOING CRAZY OVER BEN 10 THINGS.
AND KENNETH WAS GOING CRAZY LAUGHING AT US.
WELL IT WAS REALLY FUN.
today was better than yesterday.
LOVE YOU GUYS.


i love sticking things on to rachel's notebook.
" you're the pad to my period"
HILARIOUS RACHEL. CLASSIC.


what is wrong with you. piss.off.

i'm going anti-phone,
so, sorry if i don't reply.
BYE.

I'm so screwed.
i don't want to retain.
i am fucking scared.
coming home to a chocolate bar "i'm so proud of you that you'd pulled up a good pass for your emath"
i feel that i've let you down.

SO.FRIGGING.IRRITATING.WHAT.THE.HELL

this is a reminder for Kenneth:
KENNETH REMEMBER TO SHAVE ;)
cheer.up.

BOTANIC GARDENS TODAY WAS THE BOMB.
it was really fun.
BUT SUPER HOT.
so met Kenneth today, HE BLAME ME FOR NOT SMSING HIM SOMETHING. not my fault i didn't hear k!
then met up with renhui, mich and brenda.
HAHA RED, YELLOW, RED, YELLOW.
then went down to botanic, SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT NAT!!!
so we settled down, ate, played pictionary and cards.
IT WAS FUN. hahahhaha.
KENNETH DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DRAW 5 DAYS.
THEN we decided to CAMWHORE.
that was fun. SO MANY PHOTOS HAHAHAHA.
we ran around camwhoring, PERSPIRED SO MUCH.
and nat got a sunburn. and renhui refused to wear his shoes!
then mich, kenneth, nat and i wanted to walk around so much, so lazy brenda and renhui stayed while we walked around so much.
CAMWHORED AGAIN.
then tass met us, SORRY TASS FOR MAKING YOU WALK SO MUCH
but if not for me, you wouldn't have met all my "brothers' WHICH BRIGHTENED UP YOUR DAY RIGHTTTT!


we left to go to orchard!
kenneth and mich couldn't get tickets for the movie so came back to meet us.
sat down at food republic, ATE TALKED LAUGH.
then tass and i left for aprime.
hahaha APRIME OHMYGOODNESS, differentiation, I GOT A LITTLE CONFUSED TOWARDS THE END.
okay THAT'S ABOUT IT.


well TODAY WAS FUN :D
love NATALI, MICHELLE, KENNETH, BRENDA, RENHUI, TASS, HUIQI, ALEXIS.
yah that's all the people i met today (:
OKAY DONE BYE!
school tomorrow
results tomorrow, S.C.A.R.Y.


clockwise, anti-clockwise,
it's going both ways.

MY DAD IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE
SO IRRITATING
and he freaking sweared in front me
THE F WORD.
seriously. pissing me off!
now kenneth and i have to find our own way to BOTANIC!

HEY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN A WHILEEE!
WEDNESDAY
my personality is I!!! it's pretty accurate!!!!!!
and we learnt how to make BUTTONS on adobe. hahah SERIOUSLY.
i had better things to do :(


THURSDAY
HAD DINING ETIQUETTE.
i wasn't hungry so i ate like the appetizers and the soup
AND I WAS KIND OF FULL ALREADY.
and the bread was (Y)
tass loved it!
went out with NAT, RENHUI, KENNETH, MICHELLE AND BRENDA. (boomz)
so we were supposed to bowl, BUT I WAS TOO FULL.
so we were like WHAT TO DO.
so we ended up watching 500 days of summer at suntec.
again!
HAHAHHAA! it was fun (: feels good, NO MORE EXAM.
and like YOU HAVE NOTHING TO STOP YOU FROM GOING OUT.
except maybe SCHOOL the next day.
we played the game, and did stupid things at esplanade!
OKAY THEY ARE ALL BUGGING ME TO UPLOAD THE PHOTOS.
TODAY K?


FRIDAY
sucha waste of time.
I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING OUT RESULTS BACK
well we didn't!
THEN I HAD IT.
finished my webpage!
I AM SUPER PROUD OF MY ANIMATION "i am yow huiqi xanana"
then met shanice and chelsea.
I MISS THEM SO SO SO MUCH.
i miss talking to them, i miss laughing with them, i miss talking about our problems then making each other feel better again.
IT'S BEEN A YEAR!
visited training for a while.
idk if i should join back, BUTTTTTTTT.... idk.
went to nat's house after that, I'M QUITE SURPRISED THAT I COULD FIND MY WAY THERE!!!
we painted our nails and stuff.
AND WATCHED HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE.
lucas till is HOT. omg i love his smile!!!
then i was so tired then when i was talking to nat at 3 am plus, I WAS SEMI CONSCIOUS.
i have no idea what i was saying!
SORRRRRRRY NAT!!!


SATURDAY
woke up early, left the house.
WENT TO ORCHARDDDDDDD!
bought tickets, then walked to taka, walked around.
met kenzo, matthew and jialing at cine.
WE WERE GOING TO WATCH 500 DAYS OF SUMMER.
hahaha right 3 times!
so i just concentrated on joseph gordon-levitt.
HE GETS CUTER THE MORE I LOOK AT HIM!
then nat and i were SUPER TIRED!
went to church shortly after.
CELL WAS PRETTY FUN.
mich brought her friends, they are friendly (:
THEN PICTIONARY WAS GOOD.
hahah i even laughed till i teared at the AMELIA LAU PART.
oh well, IT WAS FUNNNNNNNY.
okay then we discussed bout the new sec 1s.
SERVICE WAS BAPTISM SERVICE.
thennnnn yah okay nothing much.
RIGHT.
BYE (:

i have no idea what is wrong with me. i feel so tired, physically and mentally. so worn out that my mind's all flustered, and i am lost. it feels like a drama that never ends, the confusion just accumulates and i am just waiting for the day till i realise, what i am doing is going to kill me,sooner or later. i am caught in this cycle that repeats itself daily, and knowing i am stuck in this cycle i don't do anything to stop it. i no longer know what i want, and what i am living for. what am i doing?

i have this sudden urge to watch movies all day long and not go to school, listen to songs that make me think about a million things and just talk to the people i love all day long.
i want to watch notebook.
it's the feeling that makes me crazy, in a good way.

EXAMS ARE OVER!
OHMYGOODNESS.
tass, huiqi and i kept talking about how, you keep thinking you have to go home to study, BUT you suddenly realised that YOUR EXAMS ARE OVER.
i am just so scared for results
i really hope my sutdying paid off ):
feel so worried!
ANYWAY 500 days of summer with Audrey, Tass and Huiqi.
IT WAS SUPER GOOD.
i loved the plot the most. ingenius (Y)
zooey deschanel is so pretty
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is so HOT. i love his very scruffy look.
I bought my jacket (: BUT OMG, feel so sad to spend money now!
Huiqi was damn high.
She and i kept doing the WHOOPS DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE THING.
and the racing up the stairs thing. TOTALLY DRAINED OUT ALL MY ENERGY.
I NEED TO SAVE UP ALOT.


tass huiqi and i went over to tass' house after that for the MOVIE MARATHON.
omg! IT WAS AWESOME AGAIN.
watched MEAN GIRLS, DISTURBIA, MEET THE PARENTS (20 mins), ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF (or was it in) THE SPOTLESS MIND, AMELIE, FIGHT CLUB.
" boo you whore"
" Bye joel", "i love you"
OMG I LOVE ALL THE DIFFERENT PLOTS. and Huiqi was SUPER IMPRESSED BY IT.
and tass slept during eternal sunshine.
WHILE HUIQI AND I WERE DYING
omg our brains were like "wait, WHAT?!"
then next morning continued.
I LOVED AMELIE SO MUCH, and audrey tautou is really pretty love her smile.
FIGHT CLUB, omg there were some gory parts. BUT it was good.
the TWIST WAS AWESOME.
THANKS TASS AND HUIQI AGAIN FOR THE GREAT MOVIE MARATHON.
we need another one.
I realised i wrote a walk to remember instead of eternal sunshine HAHA


that's for making my day even bettter!


she's enclosed with these four walls.
trapped inside, with no recognition of the world around her.
slowly she breaks the walls,
free to run, but no where to run.

CHINESE IS OVER.
and i feel so worried cause i thought it was the easiest one so far this year.
NOT EASY, but easiest.
AND OMG i thought hey, during chinese I ALWAYS GOT SO MUCH TIME LEFT AFTER THE PAPER. so i decided to SLOW DOWN. hahahaha! so i wouldn't sleep.
THEN I HAD TO RUSH THROUGH MCQ.
and for once, I DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP WHILE READING THE PASSAGE.
OH AND I CONCENTRATED DURING LISTENING COMPRE.
hahahaha.
thank goodness for that.
but i think i answered wrongly. i kept laughing to myself while hearing the people talk.
H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S


OH I SKYPED WITH MY SISTER YESTERDAY
she looks happy (:
and it is so coolllllll!
well she's coming back in about 2 months!
hahah renhui just called me.
HE HAD TO TRY 5 NUMBERS before getting my number right.
HAHAHAHA.
(Y)


it's never easy, no one said it was.
but it helps to think it is.
if love was simple, life would just be a smooth road.

I says (11:41 PM):
HI AMELIA LAU
MISS ME?

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (11:42 PM):
noooooo
I IS GOING OFF NOW
MAKE SURE YOU COME BACK FOR DINNER ON SATURDAY
DON'T DITCH ME AH

I says (11:42 PM):
WHY YOU IS GOING OFF
I DONT WANT
YOU DONT MISS ME
I DONT LIKE YOU

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (11:42 PM):
cause i is going to sit down on the bed
before dad nag at me again
I says (11:42 PM):
haha
okok
gogogogoogog

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (11:42 PM):
hahahaha
I SKYPE WITH CHERYL JUST NOW

I says (11:42 PM):
i love how our thoughts are interwined

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (11:42 PM):
I KNOW YOU JEALOUS
hahhaha WHATEVER IAN LAU
-.-

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (11:43 PM):
YOU IS VERY LAME KAYZZZZZZ

I says (11:43 PM):
._.

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (11:45 PM):
night ian lau

I says (11:45 PM):
goodnight amelia shocker feel
hi
you like me
i am a girl


my brother is so lame, AND HE STARTS EVERY CONVO WITH YOU MISS ME? hahaha!

These strange steps take us back, take us back to the moment when all we knew was something that could never harm us. something that would never bring sorrow into our lives.
something that we would hold on to forever, and it would give us eternal life. somehow times like these only exists in the past.In our young, innocent lives, when we were always contented. Everything just falls sweetly, suddenly, completely.
i hate how you think you are above all of us
i hate how i think i am above everyone else too.
no one's perfect, not even you.

BIO AND EMATH IS OVER.
okay although there is still AMATH which is the next "heavy" subject, BUT I KIND OF WON'T COUNT IT.
BIO was horrible today! i totally didn't know how to do anything!
so i ended super early.
went macs today with Rachel, wenn er, lecin, tass, huiqi and Audrey!
IT WAS FUNNY and i seriously felt so free, NO EXAMS OR ANYTHING
but obviously, i still have 2 more days till exams end,
THEN MAJOR MOVIE MARATHON AGAIN ON MONDAY!
omg can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A WALK TO REMEMBER,
we should have one chick flick, one super funny one, one super sad one, a thriller and a scary one.
JUST LIKE THE FIRST MOVIE MARATHON WE HAD.


i think i am addicted to tumblr
BUT MY TUMBLARITY IS NOT RISING :(
oh well I SHALL JUST COUNT MY FOLLOWERS
just like what HQ said.
AND YOU'RE WELCOME SHANICE, love you too!


When they say love makes and breaks your heart.
it makes you scared, of the outcome
it makes you scared to love, or love again.
but you can't seem to comtrol your heart,
but we all deserve that one little bit of happiness, even if it is for a short while.

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (6:53 PM):
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
but then
did you know
the ICE CREAMMAN'SMY FATHER

GABRIELLLLLLLL says (6:53 PM):
HUH?!
SINCE WHEN YOUR FATHER SELLS ICE CREAM

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (6:54 PM):
SINCE FOREVER

GABRIELLLLLLLL says (6:54 PM):
oh shit!
GABRIELLLLLLLL says (6:55 PM):
whats the name of the store

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (6:55 PM):
ICE CREAM IS LIKE A CHERRY ON TOP OF YOU AND ME WE ARE THE ICR CREAM PEOPLE shop

GABRIELLLLLLLL says (6:56 PM):
huh?
where is it

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (6:56 PM):
at ice cream town!
YOU NEVER HEARD OF IT ?

GABRIELLLLLLLL says (6:57 PM):
where the heck is ice cream town

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (6:57 PM):
in ice cream village!

GABRIELLLLLLLL says (6:57 PM):
where the hell is ice cream village
i got a feeling, amelia lau is play a prank on me

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (6:58 PM):
it's at the milky way
that's where they obtain their milk!

GABRIELLLLLLLL says (6:58 PM):
name of adress

Amelia ' i love how our thoughts are intertwined says (6:59 PM):
697 milky way yum yum blk superfreezingcoolness #delicious-yummylicious (M.W. 111111)

GABRIELLLLLLLL says (6:59 PM):
I KNEW IT
I GOT PUNKED
WTF


haha he believed!!!!!

those times that we had we would always be the best memories of last year, and although we no longer spend time together, we'll always be reminded of how much fun we used to have. And i hope that you will always be happy no matter where you are and no matter how many fights we have i'll still love you.thanks for the times you gave me advice or help me through all my crisis! and no matter how hard we try to hate each other or forget about each other, it will be impossible cause you mean too much to me and we have gone through too much for me to just wipe that out of my head. hopefully, in time to come, we'll be having our "famous " sleepovers, shopping sprees or major sss moments. Please take care and i will always love you.


somehow, there's a empty space in my heart, i have no idea what i need to do to replace that hollow section. what if it turns out to be something else when you have thought it was one thing all this while. Then i ask myself if i should hold on, cause what if the hurt is too much for me to handle and it drives me crazy. And the one thing that is worse than falling out of love is not having fallen in love at all.

i'm sorry, i am sorry i am really sorry, BUT HONESTLY HONESTLY? wth LIKE OMFG, forget it.

I had such a bad headache today so i didn't go to school.
WHICH SUCKED cause i was looking forward to BIO all week long :(
it is like the HIGHLIGHT OF EVERY WEEK, the highlight of SCHOOL.
SOOOOOOOOOOO SS TMR.
ohmygoodness, i am not absorbing. i have no idea how to pick out the factors, how to answer, how to identify tone and purpose, how to answer the seq question, and during an exam i get all disorganised and forget that imaginary template.
basically, i am screwed :(


you know the favourite part of my day is when i am smsing all my friends,and they sms me the funniest things that cheer me up and i start smiling at my phone, and it makes me look like an idiot but i am happy.
and when i am on the com and i start laughing at the com from the funniest things my friends say.
i love my friends so much, and i have no idea what i'll do without them.
51: and it doesn't get any better than that, but it does. thanks for cheering me up you are the (Y)!
OH SO i shall list out everyone i love here. i love Huiqi, tass, rachel, wenn er, wanqi, sarah, ami, kailin, lecin, audrey, lex, shanice, chels, ruijia,tizi, natali,mich,brenda,kenneth, renhui, arie,chengsin gloria, gbf.